Although it would have been very convenient to go to Day Glow (the huge paint party last Friday) and then blog about how much I hate all the bro’s the place was filled with, I couldn’t bring myself to actually submerge myself in all the filth.
Happily; I can write about the scum-butts anyway. If you are wondering what a “bro” is, I assure you that you know what I am talking about. A guy’s definition of what a bro is and my definition are a little bit different, but both are accurate. A guy’s definition is further split into two types: the attached, and the unattached.
An attached man would describe a bro as a confrontational douchbag that hits on his girlfriend non-stop that he really wants to fight.
An unattached man see's a bro as a completely sloshed and belligerent jack-off that is aggressive and obnoxious enough that he really wants to fight him.
Rather than violence, my definition is based more solely on self-preservation. As a female I am required to look suspiciously upon all drunken horny men. Bro’s being inherently drunk, horny and cocky certainly qualify for my radar. I wouldn’t say that most of them are usually dangerous, but a combination of drunk and persistent certainly equals some unpleasant situations. I once had one that playfully reached out for my hand, then forcefully pulled me close and refused to release me. I ended up having to push him away so hard I fell onto the ground. I think I might have BRO-ken a nail that night.
On a related note: Bro's are usually preppy white-boys. Just an observation.
To further illustrate what a bro is I took the liberty of making a chart that describes his physiology.
Fortunately, a large portion of the rave scene in Columbus has very few of these “bros”. Venues like Circus are filled with people of a higher caliber. Branch out into Long Street District or The Social Room and it’s a different story. Sometimes the DJ’s are excellent, and it could easily be worth going to. But I’d rather dance to sub-par music in a safe environment any day.
People of the EDM scene really are quality people. The men are respectful and faithful. And EVERYBODY, male and female, no-matter what they have indulged in, remain in-control and relaxed.
And that is the key to a good club environment: high energy and low stress.
Keep your eyes open: Next weeks post will feature and exclusive interview with V.J Oz
How would you describe a bro? Was I accurate? Comment and subscribe!
Special thanks to Mark Cooper and Jonathan Smith for contributing to this post!
